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Tantric Partnership

Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1998 21:13:58 -0800
From: catherine yronwode 
Newsgroups: alt.magick.tyagi,alt.magick.tantra,,alt.religion.sexuality
Subject: Tantric Partnership

a correspondent asks what it takes to successfully blend tantric
and life partnership over a period of years.

having had this ideal for years and enjoying a realistic
opportunity to explore and experience such a blending,
we provide the following list of suggestions:


Establishing the Partnership

   Spiritual Interactions

      familiarity or access to the principles of 
         tantra, karezza, and/or sacred sex

   Emotional Interactions

      incentive, dedication, confidence, and resolution
      compatability of personality, spirit, and limitations

   Physical Interactions

      study of general biology, mammalian sexuality, and human
      compatability of spatial, political, and aesthetic values

Maintaining the Partnership

   Spiritual Interactions

      commitment to ultimately surrender to the divine
      continued shared study of the principles and practices of 
         tantra, karezza, and/or sacred sex 
      fostering and protecting the "state of grace" 
         (bond, connection, union)  
           creating a sacred space for intimate union
           forestalling and dissolving intrusions into the sacred
           acknowledging closure after times of intense intimacy        
           maintaining loving communication during times of 
               physical separation
           being willing to give oneself up during times of 
               emotional conflict

   Emotional Interactions

      mutual support
      adaptability to changing conditions, intrusions, and stress
      patience and some willingness to compromise toward shared goals
      compassion (openness and the ability to identify with another's 
            pain directly from life experience)
       willingness to expand one's emotional attention to oneself, 
            one's partner(s), the dynamics between them, and 
            the circumstances surrounding the entirety
       intentional and respectful engagement of each other's 
            boundaries with the goal of eliminating them
       willingness to: 
            talk about emotions
            abandon the use of anger to cover fears and tears
            verbally express compassion for each other's deficits
            expand one's emotional attention to oneself, 
            one's partner(s), the dynamics between them, and 
            the circumstances surrounding the entirety
            be co-introspective and to learn therefrom
            apologize for failure, wrongdoing, and miscommunications
            forgive each other ewhen given sincere apologies
        willingness to outgrow/abandon:
            selfishness, arrogance, sectarianism, and greed
            pre-emptive self-pity
            grudge-bearing behaviour
            violence, battery, or sexual abuse
            secretive or deceitful behaviour
            racist, classist, or sexist ideation; prejudice; and bigotry 
            culturally mediated taboos against natural processes
            past patterns of fear and victimization
            all past failed relationships

   Physical Interactions

      regular practice of tantra, karezza, sacred sex, 
            and/or "the internal caress" 
      sharing time together 
      willingness to expand one's physical attention to oneself, 
            one's partner(s), the dynamics between them, and 
            the circumstances surrounding the entirety
      shared residence with lover(s)/partner(s)/spouse(s)
      mutual sexual fidelity 
      mutually agreed upon usage schedules for drugs, alcohol, 
            and/or tobacco
      practice of birth control aimed at planetary population reduction
      rural/garden (not urban) environment 
      friendly relationships with each other's family members 


tyagi nagasiva and catherine yronwode

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