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Tantra: Yoni Massage

[from ]
Subject: Tantra: Yoni Massage
   Copyright (c) 1995 Jeffery Tye
Introductory note:

   My wife and I have practised Tantra/Sacred Sex for several years
   and have received much joy from the techniques and processes. One
   of my wife's favourite and frequently requested sexual activity
   is the Yoni Massage. It has greatly expanded our sex life,
   brought us closer and has given me a greater appreciation of
   women. We've taught the technique to many of our friends and they
   too have enjoyed good results from it. I offer it here and hope
   it enhances your sex life. Enjoy.
Background Information:

   Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that
   is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or "Sacred Temple." Its
   meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view
   of the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words
   which may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of
   their usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of
   love and respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.
   The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the
   woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal
   and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the
   giver) experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a
   special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of
   safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent
   activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex
   therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks
   or trauma.
   The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a
   pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure
   and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver
   and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving
   something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded,
   more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or
   not happen. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect
   anything in return. Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage
   and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual
   activity may follow but it should be entirely the receiver's
   choice. This perspective will build greater intimacy and trust,
   and will greatly expand your sexual horizons. PREPARATION:
   Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and
   giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles,
   pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel
   safe. Allow yourself enough time and do not hurry through the
   process. Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The
   best results will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and
   you will avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the
   massage to go to the bathroom. Connect with your partner by
   hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for
   an extended time), or whatever brings you to a place of safety
   and relaxation. PROCEDURE: Have the receiver lie on her back with
   pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and
   up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel,
   under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees
   slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also
   help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. The giver
   sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. The giver may wish
   to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access
   to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the
   body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver
   should remember to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with
   relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently
   remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver
   stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not
   hyperventilating, is very important here.
   Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get
   the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching
   the Yoni.
   Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the
   mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the
   outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent
   sexual lubricants are available for this. Many lingerie shops,
   sex toy shops, sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants.
   My favourite is Yoni Play from Looking Good Enterprises.)
   CAVEAT - Do not mix oil-based products with latex.
   Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni.
   Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the
   massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index
   finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do
   the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your
   The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and
   continue breathing deeply. It is helpful for giver and receiver
   to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver
   can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to
   be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the
   pleasurable sensations. (It is my experience that too much
   talking gets one out of their feelings and diminishes the
   Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise
   circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do
   this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver
   will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage
   her to just relax and breathe.
   Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your
   right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right
   hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in
   Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/
   vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up,
   down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember,
   this is a massage and you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
   With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni,
   move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back
   towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just
   under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or
   in Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that
   go into detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they
   have to urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary
   the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to
   side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You
   can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and
   pinky. Check with your partner first before sticking two fingers
   into them. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the
   increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be
   very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate
   the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it
   is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. Ask her
   first and do not insert your pinky into her Yoni/vagina after it
   has been in her anus. Use lubrication and be very gentle. (In
   Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is in her anus, the next
   finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on
   her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the
   universe in your hand.") So, what is your left hand doing all
   this time? You can use it to massage the breasts, abdomen, or
   clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use
   your thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of your hand
   resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right
   and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. I do
   not recommend using your left hand to touch your own genitals
   because it may take your focus off the receiver. Remember, this
   massage is for her pleasure and much of the benefit comes from
   not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well.
   Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and
   motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other's eyes. She
   may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep
   breathing and be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and
   need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of
   great value to her.
   If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging
   if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity.
   In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." Many women can learn
   how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient
   Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently,
   and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there
   and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding
   is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage
   your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great
   deal about feminine sexuality.
   There is a similar massage for men called the Lingam Massage.
   Lingam is a Sanskrit word for the penis that means, "Wand of

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