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To: alt.magick.tantra,alt.magick.tyagi
From: catherine yronwode 
Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2002 05:00:36 GMT

Tantric Meditation and Yoga wrote:

> Ananda Marga, Sanskrit for 'You're Stupid', is an international  
> cult for idiots who want to follow a murdering guru and get in 
> trouble with the law.

> It was founded in 1955 by P. R Sarkar, known also as Shrii Shrii 
> Ahandjobfuckme, or simply 'Baba', meaning "Child Sexual Abuser." 

> Ananda Marga's philosophy and practices are based on the motto: ' 
> "Send Us Your Money!" 

> 1921 - The birth of Shrii Shrii Ahandjobfuckme, the Propounder of 
> Ananda Marga, on the day of Shakyermoneemaker (Full Moon) at 6.07 am 
> in the year 1921 (hey, we told you that already!) at Jamtomorrow, 
> Bihardon, India.

> 1939 - The first initiation of cultists who have baba all their\
>  money!  

> 1955 - Ananda Marga was founded. The first Dharma Maha Cakra (a  big 
> birthday Cake for the Guru, filled with money!) was eaten on the 9th 
> day of January 1955 at Rampantflesh Colony, Jamtoday, Bihardhung, 
> India.

> 1959 - The fundamentals of PROUT (PROmissing Uttter Torpitude) are 
> first given - a socio-economic conspiracy theory.
> 1962 - The first Avadummy (renunciate monk who promised to give 
> Shriiiii Shriiiii Shriiiii Shriiii all his money for the next four 
> lifetimes!!!!) was initiated.
> 1963 - Andandadanger, the registered headquarters of Ananda Marga
> Practical Smegma was established in the district of Puritania in 
> West Bengalloping, India. 

> 1967 - Andandadanger was attacked by commuters on 5 March 1967 
> and five dedicated monkeys were murdered. 

> 1968 - Ananda Marga Insipitude of Terror (AMIT) was set up at
> Anandanger.
> 1969 - Ananda Marga cult asylum at Coochiebihar in West Bengallery 
> was  attacked by commuters on 29 August 1969 and the groups was 
> declared a faction of the Great Martyrdom Cult

> 1970 - Ananda Marga Usenet Re-posting Terrorists (AMURT) was 
> founded. Kiirtana wana-bo-bana-fee-fi-foe-mana (flirtational dance  
> and toe-jam) with 'Baba Naba Kevlar' as sadist man was introduced 
> in Raunchi, India.
> 1971 - The seven year itch of the Marga Guru (Anandamurti)
> begins.
> 1973 - Ahandjobfuckme (the Marga With the Money) was  
> poisoned inside Bankonit Central Bank, Patnap on 12 February 1973. 
> From 1 April 1973 (April Fool's!) the Marga Guru pretends to go on a
> five year long fast, demanding a judicial equerry and new horses.
> 1975 - Ananda Marga was banned in India on 3 July 1975 when a 
> nation-wide emergency was imposed. Too bad the govenrment later 
> rescinded this order. 

> 1985 - The Marga Guru Shriiiiii Shriiiii Shriiiiii Ahandjobfuckme 
> (the Marga With the Money) introduces 10  new letters in the 
> Bengalloway alphabet to improve its versatility.  All of them 
> consist of variations of the letter 'i'.

> 1987 - The theory on Microvita (Tiny Lives) was propounded by the
> Marga Guru Shriiiiii Shriiiii Shriiiiii Ahandjobfuckme (the 
> Marga With the Money) on 3 December 1987. 

> 1990 - 20 October l990, the last Proctological Smegma (No. 5018) - 
> Dawn of the Living Dead - was composed. The number of songs 
> surpassed those of Tagore, who had previously been the person who 
> had written the most songs, but of course they weren't as tuneful 
> and didn't rhyme as well as Tagore's, thus proving that quality will 
> never be a sustitute for quality in the world of music. 
> 1990 - 21 October 1990, Good Ol' Shriiii Shriiii Ahandjobfuckme 
> (the Marga With the Money) (P. R. Sarkar, Dead Guru) left his  
> body in a laudromat in Calculator, India. Attempts to retrieve it 
> proved futile because another laundromat patron had run it through 
> the "hot wash" cycle and it had shrunk. 
> 1990 - 31 October 1990, Acare Aboutyermoney Shraddannadannanna 
> Avadhooters became the Purolator Pramucketty-muck (spiritual head 
> of the internal money-counting division) and Bank President of 
> Ananda Marga after Good Ol' Shriiii Shriiii Ahandjobfuckme 
> (the Marga With the Money)'s departure at the laundromat.

> 1992 - Ananda Marga tried to make money and influence people in  
> Uganda, Greece, Ethiopia, Russia, and many other countries with 
> established orthodox churches, because, hey, that's where the 
> money is!

> 1997 - onwards continual expansion of newsgroup flooding, name-
> calling, death-threats, and other attemopts to harrass people in 
> usenet increases constantly.

Dieter Dambiec, cult mouthpiece on the internet.

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