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The Letter

To: alt.magick
From: "wyllowolfdance" 
Subject: The Letter
Date: Wed, 01 Nov 2000 22:29:07 GMT

A Very dear friend of mine sent this to me today.  I thought that I would
share 

Wyllo

Letter to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, reprinted in "Alberta Views"
magazine:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to>share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone
tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you,
however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow
them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is
my neighbours.  They claim the odour is not pleasing to
them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be
a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual unclean lines (Lev. 15:19-24). The
problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offence.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male
and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring
nations.  A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans,
but not Canadians. Can you clarify?  Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev.  11:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality.  I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if
I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some
wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear
gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it
really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
whole town together to stone them?  (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we
just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do
with people who sleep with their in-laws?  (Lev.20:14).

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that
God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
Sebastiano Barassi

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