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To: alt.satanism From: Underground Panther & PwccamanSubject: Re: public displays of satanic leanings Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 20:15:36 -0400 Well that story about the origins of punk sound TOO believable!!!! In the mid-70's I got my mom to streak my hair with blonde like my sister's so I could make it pink with pokeberry juice.People in school either were freaked out,thought it was cool and begged to be taught how or harrassed me over it.Then when the 80's happened I saw punks (loved them).My first experince with mowhawks was in 2nd grade,in the early-mid 70's I was reading the history textbook and there was an old sepia toned picture of a mowhawk indian .My jaw fell on my desk I was entranced. it was BEAUTIFUL...I tore out the picture and took it home and I swore to myself someday my hair would be just as beautiful as his,I and carried the picture with me for years.Later I made a ornamental mowhawk "roach" out of a deer tail porcupine quills and peacock feathers on a leather biker's scullcap and wore that.Then when I turned 19,I bought a wig for cover-up emergencies and went to the hair place and they shaved in the mo' I felt so fucking gorgeous,I colored it all kinds of colors.I left the hair shop in a hurry because I had to cry when I looked in the mirror,I felt like the most beautiful person in the world.I took care of it, It was my pride and joy I felt like a peacock with my feathers erect,It felt like cat's whiskers brushing the doorframe when I entered a room.I felt like art personified.I had this doo until 6 months ago,I am 32,Now I'm experamenting with doing an 80's fluff of a mane but dyeing it like a burst of rainbow fire. when I dress in wacky attire it is not the standard uniform,although I use elements of uniforms.I just like being beautiful in my own way and colors and unique fashions do it for me. I like the fact that I can wear these things and get away with it. I'm glad I don't have to modify my look for a job since my boyfriend(fiancee) has a good job and he likes my attire expeiraments. I like being a stay at home artist housewife Satanist. He likes going undercover and doing his job. I will always willingly modify my image if I have to for any important reason.I am lucky that I can do this. Since I get so much joy from creating my own looks and fashions for myself I would'nt put my finances at risk my safety at risk or my boyfriend to dress this way but I would really miss the joy of dressing up all the same. I think some people dress for others benefit,I dress ultimatly for my own benefit to please myself,if the requirements of that changes Then I'm not going to hurt my chances for sucess with my fashions. And if I ever tire of this raucous expression I can always switch hats. Alot of rebel"individualist" types and rigid "conservative" types cannot do this. Material comfort and sucess and financial stability are more important than what I choose to wear ultimately.But suits and consevative looks make me feel like a clown, awkward,unnatural for me. So when I don the wig and suit dresses it is a reversal,most average type dressers think of my average dress as a costume, I think the conservative dress is a costume...All dress is a costume..(even nudity can be put this way.) Dress can be a source of pleasure and a personal tool.It is also an expression/creativity outlet and functional. I'ts all what you like and what is required for your own sucess or comfort you alone can strike and modify that balance in your personal way.The only people I do not approach on the street are alcholic bums crazy nuts, foamy xtians (unless it's to fuck with them or experament),or drug dealers.Alot of people I am friendly with are conservative. U panther
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