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TOP | OCCULTISM | ARTHURIANWhat Do Women Really Want?
From: catherine yronwode
Subject: What Do Women Really Want?
Date: Fri, 03 Sep 1999 19:39:58 -0700
: Young King Arthur was ambushed and
: imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring
: kingdom.
:
: The monarch could have killed him, but
: was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness.
: So he offered him freedom, as long as he
: could answer a very difficult question. Arthur
: would have a year to figure out the answer;
: if, after a year, he still had no answer, he
: would be killed.
:
: The question was: "What do women really
: want?"
:
: Such a question would perplex even the most
: knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it
: seemed an impossible query. Since it was
: better than death, however, he accepted the
: monarch's proposition to have an answer by
: year's end. He returned to his kingdom and
: began to poll everybody: the princess, the
: prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the
: court jester.
:
: In all, he spoke with everyone but no one
: could give him a satisfactory answer.
:
: What most people did tell him was to consult
: the old witch, as only she would know the
: answer. The price would be high, since the
: witch was famous throughout the kingdom
: for the exorbitant prices she charged.
:
: The last day of the year arrived and Arthur
: had no alternative but to talk to the witch.
: She agreed to answer his question, but he'd
: have to accept her price first: the old witch
: wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of
: the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's
: closest friend!
:
: Young Arthur was horrified: she was
: hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had
: only one tooth, smelled like sewage water,
: and often made obscene noises. He had never
: run across such a repugnant creature.
:
: He refused to force his friend to marry her
: and have to endure such a burden.
:
: Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke
: with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too
: big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life
: and the preservation of the Round Table.
: Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and
: the witch answered Arthur's question:
:
: What a woman really wants is to be able
: to be in charge of her own life.
:
: Everyone instantly knew that the witch had
: uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life
: would be spared. And so it went. The
: neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life
: and granted him total freedom.
:
: What a wedding Gawain and the witch had!
: Arthur was torn between relief and anguish.
: Gawain was proper as always, gentle and
: courteous. The old witch put her worst
: manners on display. She ate with her
: hands, belched and passed gas, and
: made everyone uncomfortable.
:
: The wedding night approached: Gawain,
: steeling himself for a horrific night, entered
: the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The
: most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay
: before him! Gawain was astounded and
: asked what had happened.
:
: The beauty replied that since he had been
: so kind to her (when she'd been a witch),
: half the time she would be her horrible,
: deformed self, and the other half, she
: would be her beautiful maiden self. Which
: would he want her to be during the day
: and which during the night?
:
: What a cruel question! Gawain began to
: think of his predicament: during the day a
: beautiful woman to show off to his friend,
: but at night, in the privacy of his home, an
: old spooky witch? Or would he prefer
: having by day a hideous witch, but by night
: a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate
: moments?
:
: What would *you* do?
:
: What Gawain chose follows below, but
: don't read until you've made your own choice.
:
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:
: "The Answer"
:
: Noble Gawain replied that he would let her
: choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she
: announced that she would be beautiful all
: the time, because he had respected her
: and had let her be in charge of her own life.
:
: What is the moral of this story?
:
: The moral is that it doesn't matter if your
: woman is pretty or ugly, smart or dumb.
: Underneath it all, she's still a witch.
EOF
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