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To: soc.sexuality.general From: boboroshi@satanservice.org (nagasiva) Subject: Sex With Older Women Date: 7 Jun 2001 09:52:31 -0700 50010606 VIom! 666 Day! Hail Satan! "Gilles L'Herault": > I am 21 years old now and i have had a very unsatifactory sex > life with 4 partners. I have this overwhelming attraction to > older womens, not grammas but womens in their 30's. some women in their 30s *are* grandmas! > Right now, i have this great women at work and she is 34 > and we quickly became good friends. As a matter of fact, > i do find her very attractive and.... ...i don't know > if i should proceed any further. difficult to offer advice on that from this distance. > To make a short story short, i am a desperate men stuck in > a 21 year old body longing for a love and sex life that a > 30 year would have. I think it all goes back to my first > time having sex.... I unfotunatly never had such a > relationship everafter and have been searching for it eversince. > > If anybody in this newsgroup have any ideas, thoughts or > comments for me i would gladly take them. there were good ones offered already but I wished to add the following: a) people have this uncanny ability to seek out relationships with those who resemble our parents (women with father-figures, men with mother-figures), and this is probably at times accentuated by becoming involved with partners who are older; this needn't present a problem, but when I hear "overwhelming attraction" then I begin to wonder if that may relate to some kind of parental issue; something to consider. b) one of the important factors to consider, especially as a heterosexual male involved with an older woman is her biological and life stage of development as compared with your own; if you are interested in something more than a fling, is she? or is she feeling more like settling down? for older men/women, is she past the age of childbearing? this may be to both your advantage! is she experiencing the onset or throes of menopause? if so, you both may wish to consult information on what to expect and how to deal with it; is she more than likely stabilized in her residence and job whereas you may want to venture out and see the world? or are you wanting to settle down and she is going through some kind of 'middle-age crisis' and breaking with her past? communication about all these things would seem to be the most important resolution. c) as has been mentioned, older age does not equal to more experience, but in my life it has often been the case, especially since the women to whom I've been drawn were highly sexual and prone to pre-marital sexual adventurism so as to minimize surprise incompatibilities with their partners. d) I have had more than one sexual encounter with women older than I; my present wife is 14 years older than I (she posts here too! :>); I cannot recommend highly enough the value of following your instincts and preferences and ignoring any kind of social conventions which dictate to you that there is some kind of 'problem' with great differences of age between lovers; to the contrary, I find that I have much more to learn from my wife due to our age differential, benefit immensely from her experience and wisdom, and that I am able more easily to enter into a kind of maturity which I didn't often feel with younger lovers who 'acted their age' and yet this was somehow quite different than I felt (having often felt that my relative emotional and intellectual equals were far older than I). e) there is something extremely valuable about the ability to ignore age, appearance, and social station, getting beyond and totally leaving behind any predilections I may have had about the person with whom I am intimate. this is something I relate to my tantric path. I expect that this would be as valuable about someone much younger as older, though as the social conventions I notice around me and in popular media seem to favour younger images as 'vital and sexy', the elder generation would seem to be the more difficult to accept as 'vital and sexy' for those interested in mystical development (thus an older tantrika partner is likely to lead to a far more liberating and meaningful relationship for the interested neo-tantric because she may become the Gatekeeper to the Wisdom Yoni. om nama kaliya nagasiva
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