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Sex With Older Women

To: soc.sexuality.general
From: (nagasiva)
Subject: Sex With Older Women
Date: 7 Jun 2001 09:52:31 -0700

50010606 VIom! 666 Day! Hail Satan!

"Gilles L'Herault" :
> I am 21 years old now and i have had a very unsatifactory sex 
> life with 4 partners. I have this overwhelming attraction to 
> older womens, not grammas but womens in their 30's.

some women in their 30s *are* grandmas!

> Right now, i have this great women at work and she is 34 
> and we quickly became good friends. As a matter of fact, 
> i do find her very attractive and....  ...i don't know 
> if i should proceed any further.

difficult to offer advice on that from this distance.

> To make a short story short, i am a desperate men stuck in 
> a 21 year old body longing for a love and sex life that a 
> 30 year would have. I think it all goes back to my first 
> time having sex.... I unfotunatly never had such a 
> relationship everafter and have been searching for it eversince.
> If anybody in this newsgroup have any ideas, thoughts or 
> comments for me i would gladly take them.

there were good ones offered already but I wished to add 
the following:

	a) people have this uncanny ability to seek out
	   relationships with those who resemble our
	   parents (women with father-figures, men with
	   mother-figures), and this is probably at times
	   accentuated by becoming involved with partners
	   who are older; this needn't present a problem,
           but when I hear "overwhelming attraction" then
	   I begin to wonder if that may relate to some
	   kind of parental issue; something to consider.

	b) one of the important factors to consider,
	   especially as a heterosexual male involved with
	   an older woman is her biological and life stage
	   of development as compared with your own; if
	   you are interested in something more than a
	   fling, is she? or is she feeling more like
	   settling down? for older men/women, is she
	   past the age of childbearing? this may be to
	   both your advantage! is she experiencing the
	   onset or throes of menopause? if so, you both
	   may wish to consult information on what to
	   expect and how to deal with it; is she more
	   than likely stabilized in her residence and
	   job whereas you may want to venture out and
	   see the world? or are you wanting to settle
	   down and she is going through some kind of
	   'middle-age crisis' and breaking with her past?
	   communication about all these things would
	   seem to be the most important resolution.

	c) as has been mentioned, older age does not equal
	   to more experience, but in my life it has often
	   been the case, especially since the women to
	   whom I've been drawn were highly sexual and
	   prone to pre-marital sexual adventurism so as
	   to minimize surprise incompatibilities with 
	   their partners.

	d) I have had more than one sexual encounter with
           women older than I; my present wife is 14 years
	   older than I (she posts here too! :>); I cannot
	   recommend highly enough the value of following 
	   your instincts and preferences and ignoring any
	   kind of social conventions which dictate to you
	   that there is some kind of 'problem' with great
	   differences of age between lovers; to the contrary, 
	   I find that I have much more to learn from my wife 
	   due to our age differential, benefit immensely from 
	   her experience and wisdom, and that I am able more
	   easily to enter into a kind of maturity which
	   I didn't often feel with younger lovers who
           'acted their age' and yet this was somehow quite
	   different than I felt (having often felt that my 
	   relative emotional and intellectual equals were 
	   far older than I).

	e) there is something extremely valuable about
	   the ability to ignore age, appearance, and
	   social station, getting beyond and totally
	   leaving behind any predilections I may have
	   had about the person with whom I am intimate.
	   this is something I relate to my tantric path.
	   I expect that this would be as valuable about
	   someone much younger as older, though as the
	   social conventions I notice around me and in
	   popular media seem to favour younger images
	   as 'vital and sexy', the elder generation
	   would seem to be the more difficult to accept
	   as 'vital and sexy' for those interested in 
	   mystical development (thus an older tantrika
	   partner is likely to lead to a far more 
	   liberating and meaningful relationship for
	   the interested neo-tantric because she may
	   become the Gatekeeper to the Wisdom Yoni.

om nama kaliya

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