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To: soc.sexuality.general From: catherine yronwodeSubject: Re: Orgasms - help! Date: 21 Mar 2001 21:32:51 -0800 "Ann E" wrote: > Talking solo sex here, I can get a certain way. I know what sort of > stimulation I like, it's quite strong, and I can get to the point > where the tension is there, and my legs get a bit fluttery. Now in > all the literature on orgasm, descriptions vary wildly, but these > things I have deduced: orgasm is supposed to be a kinda release of > tension, and it's supposed to be pleasurable, and you're supposed to > notice it. I too have had that trembly legs sensation -- and it is not orgasm (for me, anyway) -- in fact, if often is the result of my holding my body, especially my thighs, tense while stimulating myself directly on the clitoris very rapidly. I am going to give you advice different than what others have given so far. That is, i am going to tell you not to go the vibrator route, or to train your mind. I am going to make a couple of assumptions: I am going to assume that you know where your clitoris is and that you know the full extent of its anatomy (an upside-down "Y" shape, NOT the little "button" or glans). If you don't know what i am talking about here and want to see a picture and read more about the full range of clitoral anatomy, go to http://www.luckymojo.com/tkclitoris.html and also go to http://www.luckymojo.com/tkclitorislarger.html Okay, with that understood, the next assumption i am going to make is that you are masturbating while lying on your back, using a vibrator. I am making this assumption because you said in another post that you do use a vibrator and you said in your first post that you get trembly legs -- and i only get trembly legs when on my back rubbing my clitoral glans very rapidly (i don't use a vibrator, but the effect is similar). If i am wrong with this assumption about the position you use, i am sorry, but you did not give us a lot of information :-) and the laying-on-back or siiting-against-a-pillow positions are the most convenient with a vibrator AND are the ones that men like to see in porn images (because they reveal a lot of the vulva) and for these and other reasons, many young women think that laying on the back is the "right" position to take for masturbation. I would like you to try an entirely different position and a different way of manipulating your clitoris. As a solo practice, it simulates the woman-on-top position in heterosexual intercourse. Crouch down on your hands and knees, with your dominant hand by your crotch. Slide down until you are sitting on the heel of your foot of the same saide as your hand (right heel if right hand, left heel if left hand). Get your heel under your crotch so you can rub and press your perineum against your heel, putting pressure on the crura (forks) of the clitoris. Crook your hand in souch a way that you can rub alongside your clitoral glans with your bent index finger. Move your hips in such a way that you are "fucking" your heel and rubbing your clitoral glans as if it were the pubic bone of your partner. If the sensation is too strong or you do not have much fat-padding on your mons or have bony fingers, you can wrap your finger in a couple thicknesses of sheet or use the corner of a pillow to pad it. You can apply quite firm pressure to the clitoral glans this way, without a lot of rubbing friction, so you won't need lubrication. This crouching form of masturbation has succeeded for women who have never had orgasms when laying on their backs. In fact, i became so used to this crouched position as a teenager that were it not for my *male partners* over the years expecting me to masturbate laying on my back with legs spread (to give them a show), i never would have thought to try masturbating in THAT position -- and when alone, i almost never use it. I have no idea how many women use the crouched position or prefer it -- but i have actually taught it to non-orgasmic women and they were able to come in this position. It is not a cure-all or a magic position -- it is just something i know works for me and for a lot of my friends. Good luck -- and if my assumptions were wrong, well, now you know that you should give more detailed descriptions when asking for advice! cat yronwode
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